You and I or You and Me: Which Is Correct? - The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation (2024)

Even those who pay attention to grammar can allow certain inaccuracies to slip in, particularly in informal communication.

One of the most prevalent grammatical errors appears in how we apply phrases such as you and I and you and me. Writers and speakers might use one or the other to sound articulate and yet be off the mark.

With that in mind, let’s review how to keep precision well within view.

When to Use You and I vs. You and Me

First, let’s establish that either you and I or you and me can be correct depending on the context. Using the proper phrase is simply a matter of identifying the phrase’s role in the sentence.

In grammatical terms, I is a subject pronoun, and me is an object pronoun. That means you would use I to express that you yourself are performing an action and me to indicate you are receiving an action.

As understood in those terms, you and I is the right phrase when we are the subject of a sentence (performing the action), and you and me is correct when we are an object in a sentence (receiving the action).

Examples

You and I have been shopping for hours. (subject performing the action)
You and I beat our previous high scores for bowling that night. (subject performing the action)

The professor gave you and me deductions for talking in class. (indirect object receiving the action)
The rain was pouring down on you and me at the bus stop. (object of a preposition)

As you can see, it’s you and I when we initiate the action and you and me when we don’t.

You and I vs. You and Me: Another Way to Remember

An easy way to keep these expressions straight is to ask yourself what you would write if the statement was using only I or me. In other words, take “you and” out of the sentence and see whether the remaining text feels correct.

For example, suppose you have written:

You and I should go to the park.

Now take out “You and”:

I should go to the park.

Most of us will intuit right away that this is the right use of the pronoun. If on the other hand we wrote me should go to the park, it would not sound right. Thus we know that you and I is the correct choice.

Because we are so used to “you and I” in conversation and even in some writing, at times the correct English might sound wrong. With practice and repetition in your writing, however, you can fine-tune your grammatical ear to achieve precision with your eloquence.

Pop Quiz

Choose the correct phrase in each sentence.

1. Let’s keep that information between [you and I / you and me].

2. I think they might ask [you and I / you and me] to volunteer for the trade show.

3. [You and I / You and me] should get the tickets now while they’re still available.

4. The choir director thinks that [you and I / you and me] should harmonize on that part of our solo.

5. Jodie said she’s probably going to give [you and I / you and me] the rest of the day off.

Pop Quiz Answers

1. Let’s keep that information between you and me. (object of a preposition)

2. I think they might ask you and me to volunteer for the trade show. (direct object)

3. You and I should get the tickets now while they’re still available. (subject)

4. The choir director thinks that you and I should harmonize on that part of our solo. (subject)

5. Jodie said she’s probably going to give you and me the rest of the day off. (direct object)

Have More Grammar Questions?

We hope you found this quick grammar review to be useful for your own writing and communication. We’re always adding to our content to help you achieve greater written precision. Browse our archive of topics. If you have a thought or a question about this post, leave it for us below!

If the article or the existing discussions do not address a thought or question you have on the subject, please use the "Comment" box at the bottom of this page.

26 responses to “You and I or You and Me: Which Is Correct?”

  1. Thomas Stafford says:

    September 15, 2022, at 11:15 am

    Used your site for the first time today. Answered my question. Very easy to understand your explanation and examples. Yes, I passed the test.

  2. Larry says:

    October 24, 2022, at 4:33 pm

    Please help me with the following. Which options are grammatically correct
    Option A
    “Who made cake?”
    “Me.”

    Option B
    “Who made the cake?”
    “Sally and me.”

    Option C
    “Who made the cake?”
    “Sally and I.”

    Option D
    “Who made the cake?”
    “Sally and I did”

    • GrammarBook.com says:

      November 1, 2022, at 6:17 am

      In formal writing, Option D is best with an added period at the end of the sentence. Option C is an example of omitted but understood content: Sally and I (did [make the cake]). It is acceptable and grammatical used in dialogue or in less-formal communication.

  3. Peg says:

    November 22, 2022, at 8:05 am

    Is this sentence correct?
    “It will only be you and me at the party.”

    This is confusing because “you and I” are the ones who will be at the party, but the word “it” seems to be doing the action as the phrasing is reversed. I suppose if you switch “you and me” for “us” then it definitely would be an object pronoun, so I assume my sentence is correct.

    • GrammarBook.com says:

      November 23, 2022, at 12:03 pm

      The sentence construction you cite is an example of the grammatical expletive. The actual sentence is “Only you and I will be at the party.” As our post I Subject, Your Honor indicates, if the sentence is a subject, a form of be (e.g., is, was, were), and a subject complement, we would use the subjective case (“you and I”).

  4. Amy Small says:

    May 19, 2023, at 5:08 pm

    Please help me with this: “These are texts between Becky and me/I.” What is correct? I keep hearing people say “Becky and I,” and for some reason it doesn’t sound correct.
    Thank you in advance!

    • GrammarBook.com says:

      May 22, 2023, at 3:04 pm

      “Between Becky and me” is a prepositional phrase. “Me” is the object of the preposition “between.” Therefore, the object pronoun “me” is correct. See our post I vs. Me for more information.

  5. Susan says:

    June 23, 2023, at 9:29 am

    “Think about Howard and how seniors like you and (me or I) should act in light of this situation.”

    • GrammarBook.com says:

      June 26, 2023, at 5:07 pm

      “Like” is often a stand-in for “similar to” or “similarly to.” Therefore, what follows would be the object of a preposition: “Think about how seniors [similar to] me should act in light of this situation.”

      The alternative to “like” would be “such as.” Which to use would be a matter of the speaker’s intent. In other words, does the speaker mean to refer to seniors similar to him or her, or does the speaker mean to express seniors potentially including him or her?

      Similar: “Think about Howard and how seniors like you and me should act in light of this situation.”
      Inclusive: “Think about Howard and how seniors such as you and I should act in light of this situation.”

  6. Cheryl says:

    Alan and I’s plan is to see that concert. Is “I’s” ever correct?
    Thank you.

    • GrammarBook.com says:

      July 5, 2023, at 12:51 pm

      No, the word “I’s” is not a grammatically correct pronoun. The correct pronoun is “my.” Our Rule 13 of Pronouns says, “If two people possess the same item, and one of the joint owners is written as a pronoun, use the possessive form for both.” Since you and Alan have the same plan, write “Alan’s and my plan is to see that concert.”

  7. Sharon maynard says:

    July 21, 2023, at 1:06 am

    I think this is awesome. These elementary things just throw us to the floor.

  8. Rhax says:

    July 28, 2023, at 2:19 am

    I’m struggling to get one of the examples. Isn’t “choir director” the subject in Quiz Question 4? “The choir director thinks that you and I should harmonize on that part of our solo. (subject)” Isn’t the right answer “you and me”?

    • GrammarBook.com says:

      August 1, 2023, at 9:19 am

      “Choir director” is the subject of the main clause. “You and I” is the compound subject of the independent clause: “that you and I should harmonize on that part of our solo.” The independent clause also is the direct object of the main clause. For additional insight, see our posts Becoming Savvy with Sentence Structures: Part One, Becoming Savvy with Sentence Structures: Part Two, and Becoming Savvy with Sentence Structures: Part Three.

  9. Carol says:

    August 3, 2023, at 10:36 pm

    Which is correct?
    Our justice system trust that folks like you and me can examine the testimony of experts…
    OR
    Our justice system trust that folks like you and I can examine the testimony of experts…

    • GrammarBook.com says:

      August 11, 2023, at 5:08 pm

      The subject of the sentence is the singular noun “system.” Therefore, use the singular verb “trusts.” See our post When to Add s to a Verb. When trying to determine the correct pronoun, one way is to see how it sounds when you use each pronoun individually. It sounds right to say, “I can examine the testimony of experts” instead of “Me can examine the testimony of experts.” Therefore, I is correct. In addition, our confusing words page on the word Like might be of interest to you.

  10. Dee says:

    August 6, 2023, at 4:01 am

    Which is correct? “Let’s you and I go out to dinner,” or “Let’s you and me go out to dinner”?

    • GrammarBook.com says:

      August 11, 2023, at 5:33 pm

      Your sentence communicates “Let us [Let’s] go out to dinner.” “You and I” in this context repeats the object “us,” making it too an object: i.e., “Let us (you and me) go out to dinner.” Such usage might be common in casual writing or conversation, but in formal writing, we would recommend “Let’s go out to dinner” or “You and I should go out to dinner.”

  11. MikelManson says:

    October 1, 2023, at 4:32 am

    “You and I” replace with “we.”
    “You and me” replace with “us.”

    After reading that “I is a subject pronoun, and me is an object pronoun,” I jump to the quick solution:
    Just replace “you and I” with the subject pronoun “we.” Replace “you and me” with the object pronoun “us.” That is it!
    In fact, I would dare say that we should not use “you and I/me” altogether. Just use “us” or “we”!

  12. Robert Zukowski says:

    November 12, 2023, at 5:20 am

    To get this right, to say “me and you are stupid” is incorrect; and I should say “I and you are stupid” instead?

    • GrammarBook.com says:

      November 17, 2023, at 10:25 am

      It is grammatical courtesy for the writer to place his or her name last unless there is a good reason to do otherwise.
      Therefore, “You and I …” is correct.

  13. Ali Ghatri says:

    December 3, 2023, at 7:17 am

    Thank you for the explanation. I was writing an email and I wrote, “Please let Mike and me talk to Leah.” Google corrected my sentence by changing “me” to “I.” I believe it was incorrect to do that. If there were only one person as the object, then, it would have been “Let me talk to Leah.” Changing the objects to two should not change the grammatical structure. In your opinion, what is the correct way to say what I wanted to say?

    • GrammarBook.com says:

      December 4, 2023, at 8:38 pm

      You are correct. When you use each pronoun or noun individually you would say, “Let me talk to Leah.”

      It is grammatical courtesy for the writer to place his or her name last unless there is a good reason to do otherwise.
      Therefore, “Let Mike and me talk to Leah” is correct.

  14. Joyce Scheerschmidt says:

    January 19, 2024, at 10:38 am

    I agree with all these responses. I listen to public speakers a lot of the time, and they rarely use correct grammar. I had a wonderful grammar teacher in high school, and if she heard someone using incorrect grammar she would shake her head! That was 70 years ago. I still remember what I learned in Mrs. Cherry`s freshman English grammar class! What a wonderful lady!

  15. Ann Bright says:

    April 14, 2024, at 8:38 pm

    Is it good grammar to say “It is I that opened the door”? What rule governs the phrase “It is l”?

    • GrammarBook.com says:

      April 19, 2024, at 6:58 pm

      Our Rule 2 of Pronouns says, “Subject pronouns are also used if they rename the subject. They will follow to be verbs, such as is, are, was, were, am, will be, had been, etc.”

      Examples:
      It is he.
      This is she speaking.
      It is we who are responsible for the decision to downsize.

      In addition, our post Who vs. That says, “Who refers to people. That may refer to people, animals, groups, or things, but who is preferred when referring to people.” Therefore, write “It is I who opened the door.”

Leave a Comment or Question:

You and I or You and Me: Which Is Correct? - The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation (2024)

FAQs

You and I or You and Me: Which Is Correct? - The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation? ›

Both “You and I” and “You and Me” are grammatically correct, although there are people overusing either of these formulas.

Which is correct, Sally and Me or Sally and I? ›

If you are using the subject form, “Sally and I” is correct. If you are using the object form, “Sally and me” is correct. For example, “Sally and I went to the cinema”, and “He gave presents to Sally and me” would be correct.

What is grammatically correct, John and Me or John and I? ›

You can use John and I to start a sentence, and when the speaker (I) is the subject of the sentence. On the other hand, John and me comes at the end of a sentence, and is used when the speaker (I) is the object of a sentence.

Which is correct grammar bob and me or bob and I? ›

If you and Bob are the subjects of the verb (you are performing the action) then use I. If you and Bob are the objects, (the action happens to you) then use me. If it would be I, it should also be Bob and I. If it would be me, it should also be Bob and me.

What is the rule for using I and me in a sentence? ›

The difference between me and I is how they're used in sentences. I is subjective, which means it's used when the speaker is the subject of the sentence or the doer of the action. Me is objective, which means it's used when the speaker is the object of the sentence or the receiver of the action.

Which is correct, she and I or she and me? ›

“Her” is an object pronoun so you would use “me” not “I” so it would be “her and me”. See, if the girl is the subject of the sentence along with “I”, then it would be correct to use “She and I”. Ex1: She and I went to dinner.

Do you say Steve and I or Steve and Me? ›

Use "I" when it is the subject of the sentence and use "me" when it is the object of the sentence. The correct statement is "Happy Birthday from Bob and me." The phrase "Bob and me" is the object of the preposition "from" so you should use the object pronoun "me."

Is it grammatically correct to say name and me? ›

So, like before, you refer to yourself with "I". Incorrect: Jane and me went to the store to get more groceries. But if you want to refer to yourself and another person (or several other people) as the object(s) of the sentence—the people being acted on—you should use "me".

How to check if a sentence is correct or not? ›

One of the best ways to check your sentence structure is to read it out loud. If you get lost partway through or find yourself tripping over certain phrases, you can try rewriting your sentence or breaking it into simpler ones.

Is it my husband and I or me? ›

In different situations, either of these expressions may be right, and there is a simple way of deciding which one to choose. It is correct to say "My husband and I are going to a party". It is also correct to say "A neighbour has invited my husband and me to a party". Try dealing with each person separately.

Is it grammatically correct to say "me and someone"? ›

It is correct. But, if you break the rule, people will still understand what you are saying. We leave you with an excellent musical example of the "me and someone" form of compound subject.

Is it older than me or I? ›

If it's a preposition, "than me" is correct, because "me" is the object of the preposition. But if it's a conjunction, "than I" is correct, because "I" is the subject of an understood verb: "He is older than I am."

Is it George and Me or George and I? ›

If used as subject, then you use “I” such as “George, Remy and I are going to play basketball.” If used as object, then you use “me”. “My father is going to play basketball with George, Remy and me.

Is it Paul and me or Paul and I? ›

Both are correct - Examples: Joe and I are going to the game, But John is going to the game with Joe and Me. If you use the pronoun “I”, it MUST be the subject of the sentence or clause. If you use the pronoun “me”, it MUST be the object.

Is it Sam and me or Sam and I? ›

When would I use the phrase, “Sam and I” vs “Sam and me”? Sam and I would be used in a subject position, wherever you would use I, we, he, she, or they. Sam and me would be used as an object, wherever you would use me, us, him, or them. Sam and I played tennis almost until sunset.

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