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Neha Karve
Summary
In formal writing, use “you and I” as the subject (you and I need an answer) and “you and me” as the object of a verb or a preposition (they have invited you and me to the party; these are for you and me; let’s keep this between you and me).
The general rule
Pronouns like I, she, he, and they are subject pronouns, while pronouns like me, her, him, and them are object pronouns. Thus, “you and I” appears as the subject and “you and me” as the object of a verb or a preposition in a sentence.
Examples
- Subject: You and I need a holiday.
The pronouns you and I are joined by and to together form a compound subject.
- Object: These tickets are for you and me.
The pronouns you and me together form a compound object.
Actual usage differs between formal and informal styles. Also, while we specifically discuss “you and I” and “you and me” in this article, the discussion applies not just to “you,” “I,” and “me” but to all subject and object pronouns (he, she, we, they and him, her, us, them).
As subject
The pronoun “I” is used instead of “me” as the subject in a sentence. Use “you and I” instead of “you and me” in the subject position. (The subject is the performer of an action, or whom or what the sentence is about.)
Examples
- You and I are not the same.
- You and I can achieve anything together.
- Both you and I have been invited.
- Are you and I really to blame?
If you would use “I” instead of “me,” use “you and I,” not “you and me.”
Example
- I/
usshould adopt a cat.The pronoun “I” works here, not “me.”
You and I /You and meshould adopt a cat.
As subject in informal usage
In informal communication, particularly in speech, the phrase “you and me” instead of the grammatically correct “you and I” is often used as the subject in a sentence. While this is acceptable in informal usage, stick to using “you and I” in the position of subject in formal styles.
Examples
- Informal: You and me can solve this together.
Formal: You and I can solve this together. - Informal: You and me will always be together.
Formal: You and I will always be together. - Informal: Remember how you and me would send coded notes to each other?
Formal: Remember how you and I would send coded notes to each other?
Caution
Don’t use “you and me” in the position of subject in formal communication. Use “you and I” instead.
Example
- Poor: Perhaps you and me could together find a solution that suits both parties.
Better: Perhaps you and I could together find a solution that suits both parties.
As subject of a clause
Use “you and I” as the subject of a clause, even when the clause itself is the object of a verb.
Examples
- I think (that) you and I should make a website together.
The entire clause “You and I should make a website together” is the object of the verb “think.” The subject of this clause is “you and I.”
- I believed you and I had an understanding.
- I thought you and I were in this together.
- They think you and I are up to something.
- They know what you and I believe is true.
- Do you think you and I could solve this?
As object of a verb
Use “you and me” rather than “you and I” as the object of a verb (where you would use “me” instead of “I”).
Examples
- They will send you and me to prison for this.
- They want you and me to be the scapegoats.
- They have invited you and me to submit our applications.
- Imagine you and me at the top of Mt. Everest.
- Won’t they give you and me a chance to explain?
Tip
Where you would use “me” instead of “I,” use “you and me” instead of “you and I.”
Example
- They must give
I/me more time to sort this out.The pronoun “me” works here, not “I.”
They must giveyou and I/ you and me more time to sort this out.
In sentences where a gerund clause is the object, use “you and me,” not “you and I.”
Examples
- Imagine you and me climbing Mt. Everest together.
- I miss you and me working together.
Tip
In formal usage, the possessive form is used with a gerund clause (“your and my” rather than “you and me”), but never a subject pronoun (never “you and I”).
Example
- Incorrect: Imagine you and I working together.
Acceptable: Imagine you and me working together.
Formal: Imagine your and my working together.
As object of a preposition
Use “you and me” instead of “you and I” as the object or complement of a preposition (words like between, for, by, with, about).
Examples
- Look at this old photo of you and me!
- This story was written by you and me in school.
- Why can’t they just leave the gold here with you and me?
- Between you and me, I don’t believe a word he says.
- It is as though this song were written for you and me.
- This document needs to be signed by you and me.
Hypercorrect “you and I”
The use of “you and I” in the position of object is becoming increasingly common as a result of hypercorrection. (Hypercorrection is a grammatical error that occurs from an attempt at being grammatically correct.) Having heard that “you and I” is correct (which it is as the subject), people mistakenly use it in the object position as well. Avoid such usage, particularly in formal writing, where you should stick to using “you and me” as the object of a verb or a preposition.
Examples
- Poor: Lulu has invited you and I to the party.
Better: Lulu has invited you and me to the party. - Poor: They expect you and I to solve this problem.
Better: They expect you and me to solve this problem. - Poor: There is nothing going on between you and I.
Better: There is nothing going on between you and me. - Poor: These flowers are for you and I.
Better: These flowers are for you and me.
After the be verb
After forms of the be verb (like is and are), “you and me” is preferred over “you and I” in all but the most formal usage. This is because object pronouns like “me” are generally used instead of subject pronouns like “I” after the be verb.
Examples
- Acceptable: There’s just you and me here.
Highly formal: There are just you and I here. - Acceptable: It was always you and me, and it still is.
Highly formal: It was always you and I, and it still is. - Acceptable: The only fools here are you and me, my friend.
Highly formal: The only fools here are you and I, my friend.
Similarly, in the position of subject complement (which provides information about the subject), “you and me” is generally acceptable, with the strictly correct “you and I” used only very formally.
Example
- Acceptable: The only people whose opinion matters are you and me, don’t you see?
Highly formal: The only people whose opinion matters are you and I, don’t you see?
In comparisons
After as and than in comparisons, both “you and I” and “you and me” are grammatically correct. “You and me” is seen more often in everyday usage, while “you and I” is preferred in formal contexts.
Examples
- Less formal: They are as happy as you and me.
More formal: They are as happy as you and I (are). - Less formal: They are happier than you and me.
More formal: They are happier than you and I.
Note
The words than and as can function as either prepositions or conjunctions. After a preposition, object pronouns like “me” are used; after a conjunction, subject pronouns like “I” are used. Thus, both “you and I” and “you and me” are grammatically correct in comparisons, although “you and I” is preferred in formal usage.
How to get it right: A trick
A simple way to check whether to use “you and I” or “you and me” in a sentence is to try using “we” and “us” instead. If “we” works, use “you and I.” If “us” works, use “you and me.”
Examples
- Correct: We/
usshould do this together.The pronoun “we” works instead of the pronoun “us.” Use “you and I” instead of “you and me.”
Correct: You and I /You and meshould do this together. - Correct: They have invited
we/us to the party.The pronoun “us” works; “we” does not. Use “you and me,” not “you and I.”
Correct: They have invitedyou and I/ you and me to the party. - Correct: She thinks that we/
usare together.
Correct: She thinks that you and I /you and meare together. - Correct: Don’t they know this house belongs to
we/us now?
Correct: Don’t they know this house belongs toyou and I/ you and me now? - Correct: Imagine
we/us running a restaurant together.
Correct: Imagineyou and I/ you and me running a restaurant together. - Correct: Life has given
we/us a second chance.
Correct: Life has givenyou and I/ you and me a second chance.
Examples from literature
Here are some examples from writing that show “you and I” used as the subject in a sentence.
Examples
Surely you and I are beyond speaking when words are clearly not enough.
— Jane Austen, Mansfield Park (1814)
You and I and Joe would have wanted nothing then, and Joe and I would perhaps have gone partners when I was out of my time...
— Charles Dickens, Great Expectations (1861)
You and I knew strange corners of life.
— F. Scott Fitzgerald, This Side of Paradise (1920)
In the following sentences, “you and me” is correctly used as the object of a preposition.
Example
The person who regards cricket as anything less than a business is no fit companion, gentle reader, for the likes of you and me.
— P.G. Wodehouse, Tales of St. Austin’s (1903)
‘You know, between you and me,’ she whispered,...‘they’re very good friends.’
— Zadie Smith, On Beauty (2005)
And this example illustrates how “you and me” rather than the strictly correct “you and I” sounds more natural as the subject complement.
Example
Novels are what we peel off, and come at last to the core, which is only you and me.
— Virginia Woolf, The Sickle Side of the Moon (The Letters of Virginia Woolf), ed. Nigel Nicolson (1987)
She/her, he/him, they/them
Like I and me, other personal pronouns function either as the subject or as the object in a sentence. He, she, and they are subject pronouns; him, her, and them are object pronouns.
Examples
- Subject: They are getting married.
- Subject: He and she need a break from each other.
- Object: I brought a gift for them.
- Object: Shall we buy separate gifts for him and her?
Remember to look at the pronoun by itself to judge whether to use he/she/they or him/her/them.
Examples
- Subject: She/
herand I have plans tonight. - Object: They have sent
she/her and me a card. - Subject: Maya and they/
themare responsible for this. - Object: This is for Maya and
they/them, not you.
